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How Can I Help?

Ten Things Families and Friends Can Do
How Co-workers Can Help
How Medical Professionals Can Help

Ways to Help a Friend in An Unhealthy Relationship

  1.  Listen to what they are telling you and be supportive, not judgmental
  2.  Point out the unhealthy things; let them know it’s not normal and they deserve better
  3.  Encourage them to find a trusted person to talk to or call a hotline for help
  4.  Help ensure that they do not go places alone like the parking lot, locker room, etc.
  5.  Build up their self-esteem and let them know it is not their fault
  6.  Protect their privacy but tell a trusted person if the situation is dangerous
  7. Never confront the other person involved; this could put you in danger and will make the situation worse for your friend

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How Co-workers Can Help

  • Be alert to possible signs of domestic abuse: changes in behavior and work performance, lack of concentration, increased or unexplained absences, placing or receiving harassing phone calls, unexplained bruises or injuries or explanations of injuries that just don’t add up.
  • Believe the survivor if she or he discloses the abuse.
  • Listen without judging. Survivors believe her or his abuser’s negative messages and feel responsible, ashamed, and afraid they he or she will be judged.
  • Tell the survivor that she or he does not deserve to be abused and that help is available. Give the survivor Serene Harbor’s 24-hour HELPLINE, 321-726-8282
  • Call someone from your Employee Assistance Program for confidential advice and resources.

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How Medical Professionals Can Help

When screening patients for domestic violence, the goal is to validate and empower the survivor while attending to the immediate health concerns. It is vital that the medical professional create an atmosphere sensitive to a survivor’s need to be respected and taken seriously.

  • Screen patients in a confidential setting, separate from the abuser
  • Phrase questions in a non-judgmental way.
  • Tell survivors they do not deserve to be abused. Offer support and safety. Encourage survivors to make their own choices and decisions.
  • Medical personnel should assess their own attitudes and perceptions regarding domestic violence to ensure objectivity.

During medical screening of all patients, medical personnel should look for the following warning signs of domestic abuse:

  • Fearful, ashamed, evasive or embarrassed behaviors
  • Low self-esteem
  • Reluctant to speak or disagree in front of the abuser
  • Fails to make direct eye contact
  • Patient or abuser minimizes extent of injuries
  • Abuser insists on accompanying patient, answers all questions, and refuses to leave the treatment area
  • Abuser displays jealousy, obsession, or possessiveness

Injuries:

  • Contusions, abrasions, lacerations, fractures and sprains
  • Injuries to the head, neck, chest, breasts, and abdomen
  • Injuries during pregnancy
  • Multiple site injuries
  • Repeated or chronic injuries
  • Injuries inconsistent with explanation of cause

Other medical findings may present themselves:

  • Chronic pain, psychogenic pains, or pain due to diffused trauma without visible evidence
  • Physical symptoms related to stress, chronic post-traumatic stress disorder, other anxiety disorder, or depression, including threats of suicide or past attempts
  • Chronic headaches
  • Abdominal and gastrointestinal complaints
  • Palpitations, dizziness, and atypical chest pain
  • Gynecological problems, frequent vaginal and urinary tract infections, and pelvic pain
  • Frequent use of prescribed minor tranquilizers, or pain medication
  • Frequent visits with vague complaints or symptoms without evidence of physiologic abnormality

During Pregnancy:

  • Injuries or unexplained pain to the breast, abdomen, and genital area
  • Substance abuse, poor nutrition, depression, and late or sporadic access to prenatal care
  • “Spontaneous” abortions, miscarriages, and premature labor
  • Fetal risks, including low birth weight, stillbirth, pre-term infant, fetal fractures

Other signs of abuse:

  • Abuser limits victim access to routine or emergency medical care
  • Noncompliance with prescribed treatment regiments
  • Inability to obtain or take medication
  • Missed appointments
  • Lack of independent transportation, access to finances, or telephone
  • Failure to use condoms or other contraceptive methods
  • Difficulty completing paperwork, not having identification, or medical insurance cards
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